Second Chemo, a hard one.

 Second chemo went without a hitch, in fact none of the side effects, ie chills, that I had with the first round.  However, this one was much more fatiguing. The path was similar to the first one.  Day one, came home and slept a couple hours, day two, I felt pretty good, day three, I was exhausted.  

Day four, I, along with Judy and Karen, went to Shellys and she shaved my head. It was both hard and a relief.  My hair had been coming out, but then it was in handfuls.  I thought I might just get it cut really short, but Shelly said it would be very patchy and she was right as some areas are completely bald and others have hair.  

Afterward, Judy, Karen, and I went to Sandpoint where we did a little antique shopping, I bought some yarn, and we had lunch at the pie hut.  

It is 227 in the morning and I cannot sleep, although I am so very tired.  I just have to get through two more hard chemo and then I am hoping the 12 weekly ones are much easier.  

Also, Meagan sent me a "Fuck cancer" hat and a dish towel that says "Dear Karen you are the best chicken mom ever if we had a different mom, we would peck her in the legs and run to you, love, your flock."  

Susan Hournay sent me five antique plates of her grandmothers, they are beautiful!!!!!!!

 Have been waiting for the bone scan and ct scan to come back, so I can get on with dealing just with the breast cancer.  Of course, something else had to enter the picture.  The bone scan came back clear, the ct scan came back all clear, except for a spot on my colon.  At first the nurse told me the radiologist had put that it could be poop.  Then I got a call from another nurse that the dr wanted to get a colonoscopy to make sure.  I panicked because a similar thing happened last time I had uterine, they stated that colon cancer could be connected and that since my father and grandfather had colon cancer that I was at risk.  

I called Teena, the drs assistant, and she understand my concern.  She spoke with the dr this morning and he put in the referral with my surgeon, the same one that did my port, which I found so interesting.  She called me this afternoon and I shouldn't have asked questions cuz it scared me more.  She read what the radiologist had stated that it was a different image then any of the other areas of the colon, but could be poop.  She stated that it could be nothing, it could be a pre cancerous polyp, it could be breast cancer, it could be colon cancer.

I find it unlikely to be breast cancer as I would think it would show up somewhere else first, and I just had a colonoscopy four years ago, so even if it is colon cancer it can't be bad.   

I don't want it to be breast cancer.  

She was honest so as not to get my hopes up, but I wish I didn't know.

She stated that the dr had done it first thing in the morning, but didn't seem too concerned about it.  

I will call Monday and see if I can get a colonoscopy next week, because it has to be done at the end of my chemo cycle and if not then I will have to wait two more weeks.  She said it was not urgent, but to me it is.  I need to focus on getting through the chemo and such and not other things.  

First Chemo

 Yesterday morning Kev and I were at the hospital at 645 for a heart echo. I was scared when she needed to insert an iv and get a better picture of things as I was worried she found something wrong, but she assured me it had to do with not seeing a clear picture because of my breast tissue and such.  She stated they do it on about sixty percent of patients and as I left she said good luck at your chemo today, which made me think all was clear.

Went to see Teena who walked us through the whole cancer book, what to expect, etc.  She then walked me to the chemo room upstair, Kev had to stay behind on this due to Covid.  It is a nice open room with individual cubbies with a chair that lays back.  Usually they will access your port, take a blood sample which takes an hour to analyze, so you go back to the drs office and see him why you wait, or you just hang out.  When the blood work comes back good, you are give two bags of nausea medicine in your port and then the first chemo, which is bright red and is pushed through two large syringes.  During this you have to suck on ice chips so that sores don't form in you mouth.  Then the last bag takes thirty minutes and you are done.  

Once home, I went through a bunch of things.  My head felt like it had a vice pushing it, my body felt like it was so heavy.  I felt like I needed to eat something because I was nauseas , so I ate a third of one of the burritos Keaton brought me and then my stomach hurt so.  I had a period that I was so cold, I could barely handle it, especially my toes.  I took an edible and climbed into bed at 730.  I then had a period where I couldn't swallow.  Luckily all these things lasted a certain amount of time and where gone.  I slept through the night.  

I hear however the worse is yet to come, today I just feel shaky, but should become nauseous in the next couple days.  I plan on taking it easy.

One of the four worse down, 15 more in all to go.  

Keaton Takes Another Step.

 Friday Keaton flew to California so that on Saturday he could fly with Mark and get his CFI.  I am so proud of him.  He studied hard and is ready to be a flight instructor, he seems to have a real knack for it and really enjoys it.  I told him like I did as a teacher, I went to school, passed all the tests, but I didn't know how to teach until I got in there and actually did it.  He was exhausted, I think partly because he is worried about me.  

He knows that I like to have people around when I have anxiety, so he made sure he could pick up the Bonanza, which is in calif for maintenance first thing this morning and be home before nightfall.  Also the sweetest thing is that even being exhausted after the all day test, he went to Juanitas, my favorite fast food in calif, bought me a bunch of burritos and froze them to bring to me.  I love that boy so much.  

Also I had a bone scan on Thursday,  I felt like God had it as that came clearly to me, but still I was scared.  I had to get radioactive dye in my vein and then go back three hours later.  The young man who did the scan had a breast cancer symbol tattoo for his mother and we spoke a lot about different things.  He new I was scared and as I left after the test, he stated that "You are going to do awesome." I took that as a good omen and that perhaps he had seen nothing.  

That night at five Dr Allen called to give me the good news, negative.  He also said I shouldn't be worried about the CT scan on Tuesday because he was confident it was clear.  I have to have an MRI on my breast to make sure it is two tumors or one.  

Tomorrow starts chemo.........

A Busy Week.

 What a whirlwind my life has been lately.

This week we met with the surgeon, Dr. DuTar, and we loved him.  Much more well spoken than our oncologist and super caring. (I also learned he is one of four brothers all doctors in CDA, a nurse at the hospital whispered "Catholic" to me smiling as she told me how much he is respected." He said some very important things.

The two most important was that my cancer is curable, and that he would be very very surprised if it has spread yet.  Since it has only been ten months since my last mammogram that and told me I had done everything right.  As you can imagine, this had me on cloud nine.  However, I will still be nervous until the CAT scan and bone scan come back.  

He also stated that he and Dr. Allen. my oncologist, are in connection at all times and in fact all the surgeons and all the oncologists get together one day a week and go over each persons case to make sure that everyone agrees on course of treatment and how it is progressing.  

In fact he had just had a conversation with Dr. Allen about me and within it they had obviously discussed my wanting a double mastectomy.  We had felt the reluctance with Dr. Allen about it, but Dr. D put it in perspective.  He gave us the history of breast cancer, how they started by taking off everything down to the bone, then how they realized they could leave the muscle, then how they only needed to test the first lymph node, etc.  He stated the statistics that a double mastectomy is at great risk of infection, etc, then the chance of reoccurrence and that they would be very vigilante on keeping an eye on if it grew back and if it did then they would do a mastectomy.  He stated that if it was his wife he would not want to put her through the mastectomy.  I have five months to think about it and talk with Kev.

Then yesterday I saw him again as he put in my port, if only chemo would be as surgery is.  Everyone here is very caring and nice, when I went to leave my nurse gave me a big hug even in this time of covid.  The surgery went like clockwork and Karen Snow dropped me off and picked me up. The dr placed my port so that if I wear low cut things it will be hidden, lol like that is going to happen, The tail of the port sneaks up my neck and into my jugular. It feels like a bad kink in my neck and was sore last night but keeps getting better.  

This morning I was up early to hit the hospital by 745 so that I could bet some radioactive material in my bloodstream.  I must wait three hours and return for the bone scan.  I am at the wellness bar having gluten free avocado toast and a sugarless smoothie..... the new me.  

 Keaton leaves today and Kev returns on Sunday so just a couple days on my own,  Usually I would love it, but in this state of mind, I love having someone around.  But Kev went to California to get check rides done that he already had scheduled so he could be home on Monday when I have a heart echo and start my first round of chemo.  First four rounds are every other week because they are very strong, so eight weeks in all, then twelve weeks of weekly chemo.  I am already counting down.  

Tuesday is CAT scan.  When they come back negative I will be much better.

Then Wednesday we are suppose to leave for Alpine with Karen and Steve.  We are suppose to stay at  a guest house, the Farm House, of a Lances.  I am scared because I hear one day after chemo may be very bad, but that it is different for each, and I am worried about that.  But it is Kevins birthday weekend and he is so excited for us to go and thinks it will be good for me.  I can't disappoint him.  

By the way, Kev has stepped up so much during this.  He is the one reading the two inch think book the dr gave us.  I told him I don't want to know everything, it scares me.  So he reads all about the side effects and then if I get one, he will tell me it is a side effect.  He is on the ball with coming with me to appointments and asking questions and getting info.  I love him so much.  In fact I am going to tell Teena the oncology nurse if it is bad new, call Kev so he can tell me.  

 Met with the dr last night, he spent over two hours with us.  He said five months(16 sessions) of chemo, then surgery then radiation, but that is usually a good outcome.  I may not need radiation, but her thinks that the two tumors could be one which would bump me into the next category which means radiation.  This is the only breast cancer that they don't have alternative therapies for besides chemo, which may be why some people say it is the worse.  Luckily chemo works well. 

I have to get tests this week and a port and hopefully will start Monday.  He said the chemo should shrink the tumor almost completely or maybe all the way.  He will do genetic testing just because the two cancers.

He says I don't have to have a mastectomy if I don't want, but can should I.  Or if the genetic testing comes back bad, then I may have to.  

No hair on at 21 days, Shelly says it would be her honor to shave it. It will be a rough road but I will take it over the alternative.

Surgeon today at 130, have to a get a port.  

 Today is mothers day, however I celebrated yesterday by having all the boys home and Amber coming over.  It was a joyous occasion.  They left early this morning the three boys; Trevor, Kellan and Keaton flying the Bonanza down to S. Calif. to get the airplanes annual done.  Trevor will stay a week with his family and then come back up. Keaton will be home tomorrow and Kellan will go straight to Seattle.  

I woke up to streamers on my kitchen lights, a banner across the opening to the kitchen and decorations hanging from my antler chandelier, plus a gift of a candle, holder and a wonderful card.  They did good.

Also spoke with MossY's friend who's a radiologist and he lessened my load somewhat.  He said that this cancer is very survivable, but I will have have a very hard time.  I can do that if I will survive. He also said we should get a second opinion at a well known facility.  Kevin is researching our dr with whom we have an appt, and the cancer center, he also called a couple friends to ask their opinion.  Shelly spoke with her friend a dr and he stated the same thing that it is survivable, but tough.  

Saturday May 8th

 I wake up and a tidal wave of fear falls upon me.  I sit still as the waves become smaller and smaller and I try to clear my mind and think positive.  Throughout the day I know that same wave will wash over me, my stomach will be full of fear, it is a horrible feeling and I wish I could control it, but I can't.  

I was doing so well, so positive of the outcome, which is my goal, until Kev and I, while driving to the dump together(In times like this being close to Kev brings me such comfort.) received a call from Gracie, the cancer center coordinator.  She had been the one two days before to call with the invasive ductal carcinoma title for my cancer.  On this call she had the markers for me; triple negative, the worse kind.  Worse because if you are estrogen/progesterone positive then they have drugs to stop those receptors thereby not allowing new cancer to grow.  My cancer is roque cells that just mutate, they are aggressive, mine is a 9 out of 9 on one and an 8 out of 9 on the other, they grow fast and spread quickly.  She and I had laughed in the first conversation about how I wanted positive on the markers and she agreed that I def didn't want neg.  This conversation she was very sorry, but didn't want me to wait until Monday to hear the bad news.  I wish she had. She also stated that the dr may want to chemo first before mastectomies due to the type of cancer it was.  I just want them off and I want to know if there are cells in the lymph nodes.  

(I just got this message from my niece Michelle "Okay, you got a crappy diagnosis. You're stubborn.  You can kick some cancer ASS.  Sounds like chemo might start next week.  It won't be fun, but you'll get through it".). I love it and I love her.

Lisa Martin sent me a txt today that her and Glenn have sat down together and prayed for me last night and this morning.  Susan Burke got Bill and all her family on the phone to pray together.  I am so blessed.

The hardest part was telling Kellan, Kev had already told Keaton,  I was very upbeat because I knew it would be hard on him, and he cried and cried. I wish I could stop his worry.

It is not that I am afraid of dying so much, as it is that I will lose out on these years with Kev and the boys.  I would not be a part of their memories from my death forward.  I have worked really hard to enjoy these years of fruit and I always said I don't want to be like Denny who died at my age and missed out on so much.  

Also yesterday, Kasey called me.  She is a friend from K through high school, that has helped me through both uterine cancer and covid.  She is very "new age", but I trust her in many things.  With my uterine cancer she told me that Denise was watching over me and wouldn't let me die and that I would live to old age.  With Covid she made me let go of the fear and again told me I would love a long life.  This time she told me that I have many paths and I must choose to live.  We spoke about my creativity and how I need to use it to get better.  She stated that she has always had a connection with me in which she can see some parts of me and my family.  She stated that my dad is always near Kellan watching and guiding him, wether he is flying an airplane or working on the bus.  She wants me to see a healer which brings anxiety, because I would have to travel there, the expense and I am not sure it would help, although a part of me is so hopeful that it might.  She pinpointed Kev, Shar, etc to a T however.  She made me feel like I could do this, empowered me and for awhile I felt great, until that fear set in again.  

She gave me two things, to see the healer, and to start painting and being creative again, she told me to also see the joy in all things to "replace everything with JOY always...because miracles live on JOY."

Well....

 Four years ago I was very lucky, after several blood transfusions due to uncontrolled bleeding, my new ob/gyn stated that I needed a hysterectomy.  The day after the surgery I found out that they had found uterine cancer in the pathology.  I waited seven weeks to heal and to have a mammogram, which came back suspicious but after more testing was fine, and colonoscopy which was clean.  I then went back in to have the lymph nodes removed to check for cancer cells and they were all clear. I was so lucky and blessed, they had caught it early and my oncologist told me that I would not die from uterine cancer.

Last week I scratched an itch on my left breast and felt something.  After some probing I realized I had a lump.  I called my dr and amazingly got in the next morning. As soon as Dr. Bertsch felt it she told me that she was glad I came in.  My worry began.

I called for an appt the next day for a mammogram/sonogram and was told 12 days.  I called my dr back to ask if that was ok and she was not.  She called and got me in on Monday, four days later.  During the mammogram/sonogram it was apparent something was wrong.  I sat waiting after the mammogram quite awhile as the dr looked it over.  Every time my technician came by she would not look at me.  I was placed in a special sonogram room where another tech spent a great deal of time getting the info.  When finished she went out and came back quickly with the radiologist who told me that he thought I had cancer and that I had not one lump but two.  One close to the skin on the top and one all the way at the bottom.  He stated I had a 70% chance of cancer but his mannerisms and statements insinuated it was just a formality.  

When I got tot he car, I immediately called the coordinator to set up an appt for the biopsies and the radiologist had already texted her.  She put my appt for Thursday and I asked if their was any way to get it sooner.  she was able to move some people around and called me later that afternoon, she had gotten me in at 11 the next day.

I was not worried about the biopsy, I just wanted it done.  The sonogram tech for it was Kristen and she was so kind.  The dr came in numbed the area on the surface and then deeper, cut a slit in the skin, placed a needle into the tumor, put another part into the needle and a click was heard as a sample was taken, then he placed a titanium pellet in the tumor so that a surgeon could be guided by it.  He then did the second the same way,(although he overshot the pellet and had to do it again).  When speaking with Kristen she told me that I would get results in 48 to 72 hours, and that it indeed had grown fast since it was only ten months ago I had had a mammogram, and that as the dr says breast cancer is a survivors cancer, and several other things that made me also realize they thought it was cancer.  

My worry is that this is related to my uterine cancer and that I will be stage four.  I want to be positive and need to be, but I worry that this time of life, that I have waited so long for; time with Kev where we can enjoy life together will be cut short.  My sister died at my age from lung cancer.  I am not ready.  

Today or tomorrow I will find out what type it is and hopefully soon can get in to see a oncologist to see what the plan of action is.  

I am very very scared.  

Biden Legacy....America Last

Just a few things Biden has done on his first week in office.  Over 19 executive orders, President Trump did one.  

Biden was caught on camera stating he didn't even know what he was signing.

The congress also sent over articles of impeachment on Trump for igniting the riots, even though they have video of him asking that peace, and only peaceful demonstrations.  They, however do have democrats on video inciting violence.  They want to impeach him because he will not be able to run for office again and they know he is the backbone behind draining the swamp.  Now that they have cheated to have all three houses of government, the could impeach him.  

 

 

I an grateful for where I live. 

America Becomes a Communist Country Today

Today my heart is heavy, all hope is lost.  No white knight, or knights, to save us. Even with proof, so strong it screams deception, and coverups badly done, they have won.  

Within this election we saw overwhelming proof of fraud, servers that sent information overseas to be changed and counted.  Video of counters pulling bags of ballots out of hiding places after GOP observers where sent home, ballots that were counted over and over.  Big jumps in the middle of the night that were statically impossible, 100% for Biden, 0 for Trump.  Counties that had more votes than people who were registered to vote.  The exact number of votes needed, coming after the voting booths closed,  to put Biden ahead.

The people knew the cheating was real and were waiting for the courts to handle it.  Instead we saw the corruption continued in them.  Supreme Court of Georgia, said no merit, as did many of the small courts that didn't want to be the ones to change the fraudulent outcome.  OK, we said, the Supreme Court is our truth, we will see it happen there.  Then we found that even Supreme Court Judges have things to hide, they too are blackmailed and have sold their soul to the devil.  

Still we did not lose hope!  Our president will find a way, he is the best business man we know, he has done amazing things for our country in the last four years despite having most of the corrupt government, media and communist countries against him.  He will save our country, just like he has for the first time exposed all the lies of those above to us, so that we finally see what has been going on. The corruption that extended to our CIA and FBI, with only the military behind him.  But even though the burden of exposure was easy, the power of the corrupt was greater, we saw those we thought were allies, speak against him, the swamp water became even clearer, but much more deep and harder to drain. 

But we still had hope.  So many officials of states in question were recognizing the discrepancies and were willing to retract their electors.   Again, we waited for the counting of the electoral college votes in congress, where many would stand in protest.  But while millions of Trump supporters flooded the streets, those corrupt, organized a break in at the capital,  planned at just the right moment to put an end to any discussion.  The press labeled it Trumps fault, even though BLM and ANTIFA were arrested.  

Up to that point the censorship, which once was merely annoying, now became complete, Media outlets banned Trump from their platforms, along with all of his supporters and any conservative platforms as well.  Only one side was heard....communism begun as freedom of speech was not allowed.

Today, 79 million Americans, who voted for Trump, (compared to Bidens 68 million) stand in silence, as American gains a corrupt puppet for a leader.  Already cries for impeachment come from those politicians who are not corrupt, due to Biden's quid pro quo with the Ukraine, which has already convicted him.  But with the three houses of government controlled by the dems (Georgias run off election had the same exact discrepancies as the presidential election), if it ever happens, it will only be to place the first woman as their president, someone who is just as corrupt.

In years past, we thought we had free elections as the pendulum swung from Republican to democrat and back again.  But now we know that it was the same corrupt government, simple switching who was seen in the limelight.  Nothing was ever accomplished and they just got greedier.  The first, and probably the last now, free election was in 2016 when they didn't expect Trump to win and so didn't try to cheat.  Now that the corruption is exposed we know we are being played, yet have no power to change it.  How do we fight, without violence (that is the lefts tool) to correct this..... we can't.  

Hopefully Trumps legacy of no wars, putting America first, peace agreements, best president for Americans of all colors, greatest economy of all time, will endure.  Although, many of these Biden says he will start eliminating on day one. But for many of us, we feel the game is over.  We see clearly now, but are handcuffed and gagged.  

Even worse than my anger over this anti-American coverup is the loss of hope I see in those from other countries.  Those whose countries who have not had the same freedom we have had, have watched with hope that we would remain an example.  I have seen protests that support Trump as far away as Korea, and a person from Canada in tears with gratitude for those of us fighting to remain the freest country in the world.  Their hope along with ours is lost.  

My last hope lies with Trump, that things have been put in place to bring those in our government to justice, but I have had hope through all of this and now realize it has been in vain, so it is hard to be optimistic.  The only thing I can say for sure today is the Joe Biden is NOT my president and know for sure I am right.

p.s. as soon as he got in office he started signing executive orders that raise the taxes of all Americans and bring us less industry, and this is day one.   

A Whisper of Hope

 There is a whisper of hope,

                     Like smoke from the tiniest candle, it starts as but a dark spot that spreads and grows.

              Some do not see, nor smell it, but those who are receptive, breath it in and sigh out relief.

                            Perhaps it is true, what they say, that our country is being taken back silently.

       Millions of us pray that our voices have been heard and that the road taken will be in our favor.

                  Tread gently, blow lightly, keep that small signal growing.

There is a whisper of hope.                   

     

      

The Woman Who Called Censorship

One of the fundamental rights of all American citizens is the right to free speech, however, there are those who are stifling that right saying they are protecting others from hate and violence.  But are they?

Obama when president signed an Executive Order 230 stating that entities such as FB, Twitter, Etc cannot be sued for libel regarding what they publish.  These Big Tech Businesses have used this exemption to their own benefits by censoring everything that does not fit their agenda.  I have cried censorship for months now, and am treated like the boy who cried wolf, my cries falling on deaf ears. Attorneys fighting for an honest election tried to get information out to the public of the depth of the corruption, yet were silenced by the media.  A young woman from Germany attacked me for joining Parler as it is a right wing conservative platform, (which Apple has now eliminated from their server blocking the users voices), but had no problem with the idea of using FB, even though it is a very left wing liberal platform.  (At least the first does not block anyone, left or right, from using it. ) President Trump seeing the silencing of many American voices, tried to get the congress and senate to nullify this unfair act, but they did not.  Now what we see and hear is the lefts voices screaming in our ears, and the right gagged from the ability to speak.  Thousands, including President Trump, have been banned for life from these platforms citing violent speech.  What many of us call freedom of speech is gone.  

Some examples:

Amazon banned Parler as hate speech, but promotes and sells shirts that state "KILL ALL REPUBLICANS."

Trump twitted, "I am asking for everyone at the U.S. Capitol to remain peaceful.  No violence! Remember, WE are the Party of Law and Order- respect the Law and our great men and women in Blue.  Thank you!"  Twitter Safety responded "Further violations of the Twitter Rules, including our Civic integrity or Violent Threats policies, will result in permanent suspension of the @RealDonaldTrump account,"  They then preceded to delete him.  

From Rep Doug Collings, 

Don't be fooled.

Big Tech isn't shutting down accounts due to "risk".

They are trying to control what you READ.

What you THINK.

What you BELIEVE.

They're after on thing: control.

Because control means power.

Don't let them win.

The sad thing is so many do just what he states.  They listen to MSM without researching, because they believe they are right and they know it.  They are oblivious to what is going on and how their right to free speech has been slowly eroding.  They do not agree with the speech of those that is being silenced, so it is ok to them.  What they do not realize is those who silence us, will soon be silencing them.  

Saddened by Hate

I am saddened by the hate I see throughout the country, but not enough to give in to the demands of the other side. They have been spewing hate and division for the last four years, undermining all the good that was going on and putting road blocks to things that would have given so much to the US. 

Today, I found MeWe has many of the same groups that I frequent on FB, I was overjoyed and stated on a FB craft page that those wanting to avoid the censorship of FB, could join me. Many people thanked me for the information, but many were full of hate, intense, that I had to delete the post. People are outraged over the crossing of the capital, one person I know stated "If BLM had done this...", what he fails to remember is for six months cities such as Portland and Seattle, were held hostage as BLM and Antifa destroyed them, businesses, people had worked hard for destroyed, people murdered, old people robbed of their food and lodging, yet none of the democrat leaders would even send the police, calling it a "peaceful protest".(also now several BLM members have been arrested for inciting riots in the capital showing it was once again the democrats) Not long ago, someone I know stated that the reason these BLM and Antifa protestors were so violents was that they had not been heard for so long, that they exploded, hmmmm I see the comparison now for the same is true of the right. Another asked for birthdaymoney to go to these groups to help bail out protestors arrested for violent rioting and destruction, stating that they had been unfairly arrested. Another long time friend, a teacher, berated me for my views and my platform of hate???? Yet saw nothing wrong with the censorship, presidential hatred, or rioting. This morning I was shocked to see a teacher post on her page a monoloque by Jimmy Fallon, a nighttime host and comedian, regarding the "riot" at the White House and condeming all Republican Americans...She stated, and was backed up by several other teachers who responded, that they had a lot to teach their students in their high school history class, and we wonder why our schools are so disfunctional.

 So I am sorry to liberals who call for unity now that they are in control, but they have created this atmosphere and we Americans have learned from their mistreatment of us and of our American values, unity will not be forthcoming.

Thoughts...

When someone becomes a martyr, their power in death is far greater than their power in life. So it is with Donald J. Trump, who will become more powerful as president whose election was stolen from him, then if he had remained president. 

Yesterday was the day 70 plus million people have been waiting for, after months of deception and corruption marring this election,(even a Supreme Court judge was found comprised and being blackmailed to vote democrat, and yet still kept his seat) we hoped for some to stand up and fight. Few members of the political arena did, and after a fraudulent attack, by antifa and blamed on Trump supporters, many caved. For the 2 million in the streets of DC and the many millions more watching, this became the last straw. Today, cries of Jan 6, 2021, being the new 1776, are heard across the land. 

 Many are brainwashed with the main street media (msm), whose lies and misinformation is forced down their throats, while others seek out the truth through deep digging, trying at all costs to avoid the hand of censorship that comes from the msm. It is those Americans that are trying, against all odds, to put back our title of the freeist and best nation in the world. Right now other countries either look at us and laugh, or hang their heads in sadness. 

Today, I am jealous of those who are comfortable in this new era of corruption coming to light, and false news, for my heart hangs heavy and sad in the idea that we may never be able to drain the swamp and break this cycle of corruption. I worry because it is my children and grandchildren who will suffer most.

 However, I see a glimpse of light, those hearts who I spoke about, those committed to drudging up the rotten and poisonious muck, that is the democrat and some of the republican party. Those who do refuse to lie down, but instead, like those before us, rise for the fight. Do we start a Patriot Party, do we boycott, please those smarter than I, tell us how our forefathers did it(without violence), and how can we do it? We are not defeated!!! But we must plan and then set that plan in motion.