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Why? my blog title "Better2me"

As a woman, mother, and wife my first instinct is to take care of those around me. I nurture those I love in many ways through out the day, but sometimes find myself neglecting me. Recently I realized that I need to nurture myself as well. So this blog is about ME!!!!! What fills my heart; my simple life of kids, husband, animals, home, and creativity. For being better2me leads me to be better to those I love.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

?????????

What makes you happy? What do you dream about? What makes you get up in the morning and keep doing what you do? What makes you feel most ALIVE?---Headless girl

Thank you Headless girl (and mom) for creating some questions that got me thinking too!

What makes me happy? Being together with my sons and husband, there is nothing like the warm fuzzies I feel when sitting on our old, mouse eaten couch watching anything on television with my three boys. Such a feeling of contentment that can only be felt and not described. As long as there is no arguing, I am perfectly content.

What do I dream about? My sons as grown men, who and what they will be. I also dream of the time my husband will find more time for us, when he finally will be able to relax and enjoy the life we have made. What my garden will be in full bloom; both as a metaphor for my family and literal as my summer garden starts to take root in my head. I also daydream about that children book I will write, the way my life will feel when everything is in place (of course that will never happen :) and my vision of what I want it to be.

What makes me get up in the morning and keep doing what I do? I have learned that at night when I go to bed I have to think of one project or event that I can look forward to working on or completing the next day. It may be cleaning a part of my house, creating something using my mind or my hands, it may be searching far and near for the perfect "whatyamacallit", whatever it is it will make me look forward to that day with arms wide open. Forget to plan this event and the dawning day can look dark and ominous.

What makes you feel most alive? Easy one.....Creating!!!!! Whenever I am creating, whether it be cooking, painting, writing, gardening, knitting, decorating, etc., I feel alive and connected to the core of who I am. My husband says each of us has our passion and that we must follow it to live a life fulfilling, my passion is creating and someday I hope to find out how I can make a living at it, lol.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The men in my life.

Today being Valentines Day has made me reflect on the different "love" styles as they relate to the men in my life:

My husband shows his love with gifts. He wants to shower me with riches and jewels. He saves and plans and instigates. I have learned this the hard way through twenty five years of marriage, by not appreciating the effort this takes and instead focusing on the cost or the impractibility of the gift........did you feel that lag in my typing? That is because I had to get up and answer the door for the bouquet of tulips that arrived (tulips being my favorite flower), even though we specially discussed it last night and I made him promise me NO FLOWERS!, I rest my case. My husband has learned a lot about me though the years, such as he knows I will huff and puff about the cost and impracticality of a gift and then turn around some time later to love it. The IPAD I now type on is one such example. He also has learned that my love language is one of service and thoughtfulness, so last night as we discussed the no flower rule he pulled out two scarves which he knows I love. Inexpensive, so to him not a real gift, yet thoughtful, so to me the best gift ever and that he saw them on a trip in advance of Valentines day and that he thought of me makes me warm and fuzzy.

My older son is all about showing the love. He is affectionate with hugs and kisses on a daily basis. He is the type that will greet you with open arms and come up behinds you and wrap his arms around you in a "just because" I love you hug. Several times a day I hear I love you with true warmth and sentiment. His openness and easy expression of his love is something that brings me joy every day.

My youngest son is just the opposite. Not only is he not openly affectionate, he hates any show of affection. An "I love you" to him is greeted with silence. Try to wrap your arms around him and he stiffens and tries to get away. Continue this type of unwanted assault and he will retaliate with a indignant "stop that". I guess that is why it is so sweet when he does show affection. Sitting on the couch I love the emotional warmth he gives me when he unexpectedly cuddles up beside me. Or the amazing feeling of his hand as it reaches for mine as we walk in a public place, it tickles me, dancing from connection to not, then back again.

I am blessed to have such different and unique love styles from the men in my life, my husbands love is like a fresh water pearl: unexpected and beautiful. My oldest sons is like a salt water pearl: consistent, smooth and perfect. My youngest son's love is like a black pearl: rare, yet breathtaking. Yes, truly blessed.

J

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

They still need their mothers.

Right now as I am sitting in the oral surgeons office, waiting for my eighteen year old to get his wisdom teeth out, I am reminded of so many times throughout the years that I have been in the same situation. Those long days sitting in the waiting room with a sick child trying to ease his fears about a shot or some unknown which the doctor might inflict upon him, or the times he has ended up in the emergency room with appendicitis, or stitches for a foot caught on a boat prop. As a mother my fears equal his, yet I am unable to show it because it is my job to ease his fears and walk him through it, so that he might gain the skills himself for the future.

Recently, knowing that he is a young man skilled in so many areas of his life and that he is quickly heading towards independence, I have found myself torn; glad on one hand that I have done my job well and sad on the other that my job is almost done. Today however, I realized that my job may be coming to an end, but that my role of mother is far from over. For today my sons eyes still searched for mine, just as he did years ago, when fear comes into the equation. When he was unsure of what is required or requested he referred to me to make the decisions. But most importantly, as I left him to the surgeon I gently touched his head, too old now to pull him on my lap and calm his fears, and I heard him sigh with relief.

I am proud that my son is turning into such an amazing man, yet glad that my simple touch still brings him such comfort.

about me

Alta Loma, California, United States
I am a wife of 28 years to Kevin, a pilot, a mother of 22 year old Kellan and 15 year old Keaton. I am caretaker to a zoo of animals including dogs, cats, chickens, fish, birds, turtles, etc. I am a gardener, a cook, a writer, a painter, a teacher, and I am truly blessed to be able to live life the way I wish too.