I find it interesting how our viewpoint can change in an instant into a totally different direction, yet we realize instantly that the change is the right one and suddenly it all makes sense. Well that is what happened to me last night.

My hubby is gone for six weeks of training, but still he cannot escape my daily deliverance of whining, pouting, along with a few good things that I throw in there so that he doesn't become tired of my negativity. Last night, I was on my usual subject of not feeling that Keaton is learning in the way that works for him. I ranted about how his teacher told him to rewrite his paper because if he didn't he was going to get an "F", but didn't tell him what to fix, so he basically changed the information around and rewrote it for the third time. When I emailed her about letting me help him at home with it, she responded that was great because she has no time to help children 1:1 in the classroom........(My teacher brain exploded). I raved to him that last year I never helped Keaton with anything because his teacher taught it so that he could understand it and then I wondered is it the teacher this year,or the curriculum. I went on and on and as usual my fears of what is going to happen in high school and beyond, burst forth.

Luckily my hubby knows me by now and he lets me rant and rave and then calmly he stated some basic facts. First of all, I don't want to be so caught up in this that I can't be effective for Keaton. Second, that Keaton will be alright, he is smart; he may not be a great student but neither was hubby and he turned out o.k. (I agree to that, more then o.k.) He may not be book smart, but he is amazing at so many things and that his weaknesses make his strengths even stronger. That Keaton will get through school in large part because I am here and have the time to help him reach his goals.

Then it hit me..... I have been agonizing for along time on what to do with my recently acquired education. I can't get a full time job because I need to be there for Keaton, plus the job market does not warrant it........ when all along that job has been here and I have been doing it, I just have not looked upon it as such. My job is to get Keaton through the next seven years of school so that he can go on to college if he so chooses. I have to stop whining about whether I made the right choices of teachers, or if he is getting what he needs at school, or feeling bad that we work a lot at home when he would rather be doing something else, or that it is I he gets mad at when things are frustrating or hard (although don't watch me on these because I probably will still whine), it is my job and I have to figure out how to do it in balance. The reason I went to school in my forties and acquired a BA, teaching credential, and Masters (along with a huge debt that I worry about paying off) is so I could teach Keaton what he does not get at school and to make sure he has the skills he needs to succeed.

See how smart my hubby is :) he changed my viewpoint of the situation which allowed me to move past that which was keeping me stuck.