Pages

Why? my blog title "Better2me"

As a woman, mother, and wife my first instinct is to take care of those around me. I nurture those I love in many ways through out the day, but sometimes find myself neglecting me. Recently I realized that I need to nurture myself as well. So this blog is about ME!!!!! What fills my heart; my simple life of kids, husband, animals, home, and creativity. For being better2me leads me to be better to those I love.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

An Expensive Lesson

Not long ago my oldest child, Kellan, called me with something that weighed heavily on his mind. I am lucky that he does this often and that sometimes he even listens to my advice ;). This days concern was about his math class.....he felt he might fail it. This is my child who has never received below a "B" on anything in his life and has never had to try or make an effort to do so. My child who has made every athletic team he has ever tried out for, who was asked to be on the athletic decathlon by his high school AP teacher who thought he was the most unique thinker she has ever seen, and whose out of the box thinking style has many of his teachers becoming lifelong friends, as they could communicate on the same level and learn from each other......however I was not surprised when he told me he might be failing.

Actually for these exact reasons, living a life on easy street had not prepared him for real life, which is all about how you deal with situations and nothing about how smart you are. When I asked him why he thought he was failing, not about the grades but about the actions involved, he stated honestly, that he hadn't done the homework, hadn't participated in the learning, He even stated that math was his easiest class and that this level, calculus 3, should have been a breeze for him, but because he thought it would be easy he didn't think he had to put in as much effort.

"We'll there you have it." I told him.

"That's it, he stated! That's all your going to say?"

"Yep, you know how it happened, so now you just have to deal with the consequences."

................But I did elaborate, cuz I can't stop myself. I told him what I have learned through many years of experience. As a child I always thought I was stupid and I thought being smart would make my life so much easier. So as a mother to him, I wanted him to be the best he could be, and I put too much emphasis on his grades. However, when I went back to college in my late thirties, I found that I wasn't as dumb as I thought by graduating with a 4.0, then realized an even more important lesson, it wasn't about the grade on your report card, but about what you had actually learned, both in books and through the process of learning. With Keaton, my whole idea of worth shifted when I see him struggling as a blind person, in a classroom of teachers who teach 90% visually. He comes away with only part of the puzzle pieces he needs, yet he will do what ever it takes to make it work. I do not judge him by grades, but by the determination and works he puts into something. Keaton is already learning those skills that I should have taught you earlier.

I could see the wheels turning and after a minute, he nodded and agreed. "You're right," he said "I need to take responsibility for my actions. I will do everything I can to get a good grade on the final and hopefully that will bring my grade up to passing, and if not, then I will take it again next semester and take a class during the summer to make it up."

I smiled that he got it, and then I told him that if he failed I would 1. still love him, 2. He would have to take the class again, and this time. 3. He would have to pay for the class himself because his father and I were not paying for his lesson.

A sheepish look accompanied his reply, "I liked it better when you just ragged on me, in junior high, for getting an "A", when you felt I should have gotten and "A+".

Postscript:
Since a good grade on the final was not enough to pass the class, the real lesson to be learned will come when he finds out that paying $20 dollars a week for a $1500 class, on a college students budget, is going to mean a lot more top ramen and walking, to save gas.



1 comment:

  1. We learned this lesson with college chemistry last summer. Chemistry had to be taken in both summer sessions to get a passing grade. Too much hanging out with friends and not enough effort put into the class. Now Claira is in organic chemistry and putting a lot of effort into this class since she knows that she needs to pass this for her biology major. In high school, Claira didn't have to put much effort or studying into getting an A. College is a whole different ball game and requires a little more effort. She has learned that now.

    ReplyDelete

about me

Alta Loma, California, United States
I am a newly, 3 years, transplanted California, who has found her heart in Northern Idaho. Married to my better half, Kevin, for 34 years, we live on ten acres with a pond, a barn with 23 antique John Deer tractors, 18 chickens and four labs (3 fox red, 1 chocolate) My hubby took an early out from United during this Covid situation, but still works full time as a flight examiner, we are learning how to empty nest to its fullest. Only thing that would make life better is if our children and daughter in law lived closer.