Today being Valentines Day has made me reflect on the different "love" styles as they relate to the men in my life:
My husband shows his love with gifts. He wants to shower me with riches and jewels. He saves and plans and instigates. I have learned this the hard way through twenty five years of marriage, by not appreciating the effort this takes and instead focusing on the cost or the impractibility of the gift........did you feel that lag in my typing? That is because I had to get up and answer the door for the bouquet of tulips that arrived (tulips being my favorite flower), even though we specially discussed it last night and I made him promise me NO FLOWERS!, I rest my case. My husband has learned a lot about me though the years, such as he knows I will huff and puff about the cost and impracticality of a gift and then turn around some time later to love it. The IPAD I now type on is one such example. He also has learned that my love language is one of service and thoughtfulness, so last night as we discussed the no flower rule he pulled out two scarves which he knows I love. Inexpensive, so to him not a real gift, yet thoughtful, so to me the best gift ever and that he saw them on a trip in advance of Valentines day and that he thought of me makes me warm and fuzzy.
My older son is all about showing the love. He is affectionate with hugs and kisses on a daily basis. He is the type that will greet you with open arms and come up behinds you and wrap his arms around you in a "just because" I love you hug. Several times a day I hear I love you with true warmth and sentiment. His openness and easy expression of his love is something that brings me joy every day.
My youngest son is just the opposite. Not only is he not openly affectionate, he hates any show of affection. An "I love you" to him is greeted with silence. Try to wrap your arms around him and he stiffens and tries to get away. Continue this type of unwanted assault and he will retaliate with a indignant "stop that". I guess that is why it is so sweet when he does show affection. Sitting on the couch I love the emotional warmth he gives me when he unexpectedly cuddles up beside me. Or the amazing feeling of his hand as it reaches for mine as we walk in a public place, it tickles me, dancing from connection to not, then back again.
I am blessed to have such different and unique love styles from the men in my life, my husbands love is like a fresh water pearl: unexpected and beautiful. My oldest sons is like a salt water pearl: consistent, smooth and perfect. My youngest son's love is like a black pearl: rare, yet breathtaking. Yes, truly blessed.
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- Karen Rothfus
- Alta Loma, California, United States
- I am a wife of 28 years to Kevin, a pilot, a mother of 22 year old Kellan and 15 year old Keaton. I am caretaker to a zoo of animals including dogs, cats, chickens, fish, birds, turtles, etc. I am a gardener, a cook, a writer, a painter, a teacher, and I am truly blessed to be able to live life the way I wish too.